Tag Archives: compassion

Leading and Following

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Why do people follow those in Leadership positions? Is it because they HAVE to or is it because they are inspired to? We have many people whom we choose to follow and for a number of other reasons besides being inspired or being forced to because of their position. Some we follow because they are fighting the cause that we believe in (shared ideology) or some because they represent the same group that we associate with. What happens when our ideology or group association no longer line up with “norms” of the leader(s)? How do we lead others in our own lives; through coercion or inspiration? How/what are we following?

In our lives, we are all leaders or followers depending on the situation. At home, you may be the leader and other times, you are the follower – just ask a long-married man what role he has most often. Good followers, however, do not follow the leader blindly; they first understand the mission of the leader and follow them to make things better. What kind of a follower are you? Generally speaking, followers inspire others and in turn become leaders.

Even designated leaders must learn to be good followers. Unfortunately, we often see people in leadership positions who demand allegiance from their followers but they fail to act in the same way to those they follow. What kind of follower are you? Do you demand from those you lead something you won’t give as a follower yourself or do you leave your followers in the dark about where you are headed? Leadership is advanced ten-fold when we lead by setting a good example. The bottom line is that we all need to work toward common goals for the betterment of the greater good. Effective leadership and followership foster an atmosphere that inspires innovation, allows people time to explore ideas and be creative which will pay dividends in morale and may produce better results and make the changes that are needed.  

“Come, follow me,“Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” – Matthew 4:19

Jesus provided us with great examples of leadership. He was a great follower too – he fulfilled the prophets, flawlessly obeyed the Ten Commandments and never wavered in His ideology through and with His Father’s will. We will never be perfect, but we can use Jesus’ examples in our lives. When Jesus said “I will make you fishers of men” we know it was his way of saying: I will give you the tools, the strength, the time, the understanding, the guidance and an example to follow so that you, my disciples, will lead people to me.

Despite His followers set backs, Jesus was always there to pick them up, help them understand and lead another day. He gave them opportunities to serve and circumstances to teach the Word of God. Are you a fisher of men? The Lord has blessed you by putting you in a unique position as both a leader and a follower. Remember what Jesus did, how he led, and put that to good work. The work of a follower is important to. Understand the mission and do your best. Reading the bible, daily devotions and deliberate Christian living are keys to being a good follower and you will attract those that need a leader. In the end, you are already a fisher of men.

Forfeit Your Soul

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Win at all costs! An expression that seems to be making a comeback. “I’ve got mine, sorry you don’t.” I wrote last week about people wanting more from corporations and that the workforce is starting to look at the bigger picture – corporate responsibility that is socially conscious. Today, more than ever, we need to understand that together we conquer, divided we fall. What happens when we give up everything to “win”?

How aggressive do you play to win? Do nice guys really finish last? If we all look into our pasts, chances are good that we will see times when it appears that or perhaps, we actually did; forfeit our souls to get ahead. What is worth trading your soul for? The riches of the world are very appealing: new cars, bigger houses, a boat, jewelry and the like. These are the material things of this world that we are reminded about throughout the Bible, not to pay attention to but to keep our focus on God. Be careful of the circumstances that don’t feel right, but you can’t understand why. They are from your soul telling you not to give part of it away.

Matthew 16:26 “What good will it be for a man if he gains the world yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”

As the months ahead drag on, we need to be living according to God’s word more than ever before. What can a man give in exchange for his soul? We may gain much in this life but if we do little with it, we will be very disappointed with our results. We are assured by John in the second part of verse 3:16 “for whoever believes in Him will have eternal life”. We can rest assured that God will keep his promises to us.

What obligation do you have to God? We should be willing to be faithful servants to Him and we can do that by putting our beliefs into action. Leading by example in your everyday life, like a good Christian, with truth, ethics, nobility, compassion and with God as your guiding force is a good place to start. Oftentimes, it is always “just one more time” for us – one more time to bend the numbers and I’ll have the next promotion or one more time to gossip about a co-worker and I’ll get the best assignment or one more time to take care of myself before I care about others or simply, I’ve got mine and no one else deserves it because I worked hard for it. There will certainly be people who will need our help – homeless, unemployed, uninsured and the hungry. What can you offer? Today, if you’re still focused on the gains of this world, turn away from what you’re doing, turn away from what you’ve done and live your life as if your soul depends on it, it just might!

You Are Always Leading

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“Walk the Talk” is just another way of saying, “Lead by Example”. People often equate leading with leadership positions – supervisors, directors, Governors, CEOs, Presidents, or some other given title that is supposed to lead people. Regardless of your title, do you think of yourself as a leader? Every one of us holds a leadership position at some point during our day. Mothers and fathers who lead their families by providing guidance and leadership to navigate the world we live in, business professionals who set the example for others to follow (good or bad), Pastors leading their churches, housekeepers setting the standard in hotels and so on. Walking the talk every minute of every day and not letting down even for a moment is actually easier than it sounds.

Regardless of your position, be aware that people are watching you. When we don’t do as we say, those around us will start asking, “Why should I trust this person? The military has a very good model for us to consider following when leading the way. The Generals running operations around the world could certainly receive their reports and briefings from field units in the comfort of their offices at the Pentagon just as easily as they do from a forward command post in Afghanistan. They are in country just like the men and women they lead because setting the right example is important. They wear the same uniform, follow the same protocols and lead by example all of the time, not just when someone is looking. You may not always know it but someone is looking up to you every day. It might be the very customer that you are serving; they are looking to you as an example of good customer service. We are always being watched, let’s set the best example possible.

Deuteronomy 5:33 – “Walk in all the way that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days…”

Jesus left us a great example to follow and that’s exactly what God wants from us. God knows we’ll struggle, only Jesus was perfect; that’s why it’s called following and not duplicating. God wants us to walk in the way, do as Jesus did by loving each other, being compassionate and caring for others, forgiving others and ourselves and learning the word of God. God’s grace has given us eternal life – to live, prosper and prolong our days.

He asks that we follow the example provided by His son Jesus. Spend time learning the examples given to us in the Bible and then put those examples in front of you everyday. Practice daily what you learn and imagine Jesus saying to you “do as I do”. Whether you are a designated leader or dedicated employee, people are watching you every day. Learning the lessons given to us by Jesus, we will not only lead people in our businesses but we will provide everyone around us with a great Christian example to follow. Walking in the way of the Lord will be easier than you think.

Humility

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Humility is defined as a modest or low view of one’s own importance and is a very rare trait to find in people these days. An entire generation of people have been raised in an era in which “everyone gets a trophy” and they never learned about being humble because everyone was equal. Being humble is something that we all can use a little more of and put into practice a little more often. We should strive to care more about others than we do ourselves. In today’s world, coming together to help one another is more important than ever.

Just once, I’d love to hear a politician praise the work of someone actually serving the citizens of their state or district. During COVID, we saw people volunteering to shop for the senior citizens in their neighborhoods, or people who shared supplies that were not readily available. What happened to working for the betterment of our society instead of the betterment for themselves? These are the people who weren’t raised in the “trophy generation” but they sure have lost their way. We need more humility and less hubris these days for everyone’s sake.

“Therefore, whoever humbles himself like a child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” Matthew 18:4

Being humble isn’t limited to those in leadership positions; it applies to all of us. When we start thinking that we are better than our neighbors or our co-workers, we have veered off track. Matthew is, of course, quoting Jesus here who is speaking to His disciples and then follows this verse with, 5“Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.” Jesus is telling us not to take ourselves too seriously and to be humble. Small children have not developed the “skill” of being boastful or full of themselves: that comes later in development. The theory was that children are compassionate, listen to their parents, don’t think or speak poorly of others and often don’t knowingly sin. We can learn a lot from them, I hope…

Jesus is telling us that we are not the most important thing in this world – to stop being so full of ourselves that we think we are the center of attention. We should humble ourselves, set our focus on God and accept more people rather than judge them. When we receive the most humble, we receive Jesus. It isn’t a competition for things and accomplishments; it’s about being good children of God. Humility doesn’t mean you can’t be proud of what you’ve done but it does mean that it doesn’t define you. No one will care what you did here on earth if all you did was serve your own needs.

Sheep Herders

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This verse is generally perfect when discussing accountability at work or as a bridge to a “take care of your people” writing. Given today’s emotional climate, I’d like to simply focus on shepherding. Looking after the flock is an essential function of leadership, no matter what position we’re talking about. The real issue is how you do it; as a herder you can walk behind them as they walk along the path and keep the strays in line or you can walk in front leading the way knowing that you’ll still have them when you turn around as a Shepherd does. We’re seeing various forms of the shepherd concept of leadership these days. Sheep herders use dogs to chase around the edges to keep the herd moving forward; if you see someone using others to “chase around the edges”, check the leadership style of the people around you.

We need leaders who are looking after us and our needs and who aren’t sending others or themselves out to chase the edges. In a time of crisis, we are ALL leaders and can shepherd people toward calm by being reassuring, direct, honest, and accountable. As a greater society, we owe each other a little bit of personal accountability. Everyone needs to work together so that we can all rise in what now know as the new normal. You could be the next shepherd; will you lead from the back or boldly from the front?

Ezekiel 34:12 “As a Shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all places where they were scattered…”

We are God’s sheep, and it is great to have a Shepherd that cares about us as much as He does. He gave up His son for our salvation and ever lasting life. God is always present in our lives and will come to our rescue, even when we’ve put distance between us. God’s “rescue” does not mean that we will get what we want, it may mean that we get just enough because the real rescue happened on Easter Sunday. We need to do our best and prevent the need for a rescue in the first place. We should be spending time with God, praying, reading the word, and spreading the good news.

Today, more than ever, we need a strong leader. God gave us the perfect one, Jesus. He is patient with us as we make mistakes, He holds us accountable as He did with the disciples but, in the end, no matter how many mistakes we make, Jesus will rescue us (usually from ourselves) as the Shepherd does with His flock. On Easter, we were given the grace of God in the resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. While you are focusing on being a good Shepherd in your daily life or in your vocation, focus also on being a good sheep (follower). Rejoice that your Father cares so deeply that He will risk a lot to rescue you from the places that you can scatter to or from all the trials that this world can throw at you.

We’re still in uncertain times

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Four years ago this week, COVID-19 was griping the world and no one found comfort in anything being said or done. All over the world, countries were dealing with the pandemic in very different ways – closing borders, implementing curfews, closing schools, closing restaurants and bars and, cancelling sporting events. We all felt isolated. So here we are, 48 months later and many are still isolated and not feeling the same as they did 49 months ago.

At the time, our Pastor wrote these words to the congregation and for some reason, I think they need to be shared again…

“Many people are full of fear because they feel helpless.  Many are full of fear because of the unknown.  This is a particularly frightening time for us all. Now, more than ever, we need to trust in the Lord with our whole hearts.  God has promised to be with us in such times.  We can count on Him to see us through this present situation.  His Word creates and strengthens faith so keep your Bibles close.  Rely on His strength and let the Lord comfort you.”   

I’m not going to give my perspective on the various bible verses this week or try to make an analogy either. It is best to let the God inspired words of St. Paul speak for themselves. Please stay safe and healthy; measure your actions and response to the circumstances near you, not those of other countries or states for all situations and not just COVID. Trust in God to see you and our world through these uncertain times.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

8 We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. 9 Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11 as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-11

A Positively Negative World

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I’m finding it harder these days to be positive about many things. Everywhere I look there is turmoil and chaos; some people are stoking it and others are embracing it. Everyone seems at odds with each other and if you have a different point of view or opinion, you are attacked or outcast. Television shows seem to base their stories around personal conflict, even the comedies aren’t funny. No one wants to take responsibility for their actions, so they blame the observer. We’ve lost the “common” part of our senses and now we appear to be on the brink of losing our senses altogether.

Originally, I set out to write about being positive in the workplace as leaders, now I find it hard to be positive. The moral of this negative post on positivity is that no matter your leadership position, people look to you for reassurance – always. No one wants to be “gaslighted” as my mom used to say but they also don’t to hear from someone who never has a positive thing to say. Leaders must speak the harsh truths, but they also need to find the sunshine in those cloudy moments to maintain hope. Once we lose hope, we have lost it all. I was in need of few rays of sunshine and where did I find it? The Bible of course! In a rare (for me) Bible quote from the Old Testament.

“30 Tremble before him, all the earth! The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved. 

31 Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let them say among the nations, ‘The LORD reigns!’ 32 Let the sea resound, and all that is in it; let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them! 33 Let the trees of the forest sing, let them sing for joy before the LORD, for he comes to judge the earth. 34 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. 35 Cry out, ‘Save us, God our Savior; gather us and deliver us from the nations, that we may give thanks to your holy name, and glory in your praise.’ 36 Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Then all the people said ‘Amen’ and ‘Praise the LORD.’” 1 Chronicles 16:30-36

Comedian Tom Papa has a Netflix special “You’re Doing Great” and he talks about the good old days – bathing once a month and wearing a lot of leather goods. Now, the Old Testament times are really the old days! Even my worst day is better than their best day. We are being encouraged here to rejoice in everything because the “Lord reigns”. Seas, fields, forests are encouraged to rejoice, why not us? “God’s love endures forever”.

If you break apart all of the troubles of this world, they are nothing that God’s love cannot overcome. In all things, let love abound. We only have each other and we only have today so let’s make the most of them both. There is nothing negative in love, only in the things that keep us from loving one another. Remove the obstacles to love and just as God’s love endures forever, keep love out in front and live your life loving each other.

Ask The Lord

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Unfortunately, there are times in our work lives that we will be supervised by someone who doesn’t do a good job of showing how much they care about us or worse, they literally just don’t care. The first type of person is far easier to work for that the later and honestly, the ones who don’t know how to show it are more prevalent in the workplace today. As the Baby Boomers are leaving the workplace, Gen Xer’s are now supervising people making today’s workplace a little frustrating. This type of working environment puts the responsibility back on us if we want to make “work” a little more enjoyable.

The higher up the “ladder” a supervisor goes, the less they pay attention to the things that their people need, and we need to remind them what we’d like to accomplish. Author John Maxwell describes 360º Leadership in his book with the same title; we can use this as a tool to help us achieve goals that we have set for ourselves. Being forward with our own supervisor is not something that feels natural but when we are dealing with our own future and needs, sometimes we need to push ourselves a little. If you are a leader, don’t forget to take care of your own needs but don’t do it at the expense of your people. God put you in this place and at this time for a reason, ask questions and seek opportunities for personal and professional growth.

Luke 11:9 – “So I say to you: ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

We are taught here to ask the Lord for what we need. We need to learn to put our trust in God so that He can deliver us what we need. The real truth of the matter is that what God delivers is not always what we want or plan for but it is what we need. Sometimes God gives us pain or suffering for our growth, other times he gives us joy and peace. Despite our belief in our own greatness, God knows what we need.

Another thing that frustrates us is that God will not do it on our timeline but on His. Today, with the microwave we cook faster, with streaming services, we get tv shows when we want them, and the Internet gives us information in an instant. This verse reminds us to ask, seek and knock on the doors that God provides. Behind some doors are scary opportunities in which we feel alone in our thoughts and in our decisions. God has promised not to leave you. He gave us His only Son in order to keep us close and we should never forget that. Pray and have patience, He will open the door for you. 

It Isn’t Hard To Be Nice

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“It isn’t hard to be nice”. A phrase used by our son and one that we spoke regularly on a vacation we took a couple of months ago. Somewhere, somehow, as a society we’ve lost our ability to treat each other like human beings and simply be nice to each other. Everyone now has a label and it seems that no matter where you find yourself, someone is classifying you into a group. At its worst, “you’re either one of us or you’re one of them”. Usually a “at its worst” statement is followed by a “at its best” statement but in this case, there is no best. Generally, we seem to have lost our compassion for each other, we lost our empathy for those in need and we’ve become focused on “I’ve got mine” or “me first!” in societies all around the world.

To our son’s point, it isn’t hard to be nice. A smile when we greet, picking up something that a stranger dropped or not treating people in the service industry like our enslaved servants, is a great place to begin. I’m pretty rebellious by nature and the last thing I want to do is to simply give way when someone is trying to push ahead in a line or a crowd – “how will they learn if people just cave-in” is what I find myself thinking. There is a difference between being nice and being a pushover. I would love to have everyone live in harmony and follow general precepts of being a member of a civilized society. Since that isn’t the case, I pray instead. The bottom line here is to ask yourself, “how do I behave?”. Examine your behaviors, attitudes, beliefs and actions; how hard is it to be nice?

“16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” Romans 12:16-19

St. Paul is reminding us to be nice to each other; pretty straightforward – “Live in harmony with one another”. Nowhere in the Bible does it tell us to take care of ourselves first and then worry about others. St. Paul also reminds us not to take revenge but to leave that to God, it simply isn’t our place. These words of Paul to the Romans are very instructive for our lives today. They aren’t words or parables of Jesus that someone has interpreted to mean something, they are the God inspired words spoken through an ordinary man to ordinary people – no spin there!

We are reminded to stand up for ourselves, “If it is possible…”, live at peace. We aren’t being told to cave in or let people push us around, but we are being reminded not to take revenge against those who treat us that way. “Live in harmony, do not be conceited, do what is right, live in peace, do not take revenge”; all pretty simple ways that, in my mind, summarize how to be nice. It isn’t hard if you practice being in the moment and focus your attention outward and away from yourself. After all that I’ve read and experienced, this life is way more about others than it is ourselves.

What are you showing others?

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There is an old management saying, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” What is in your heart will reflect on your leadership style. If you are caring for your people, deflecting stress from all angles, sincerely working with them so they can: achieve more, learn more and, reach their goals then your heart is in the right place. Do you say, “I want to develop my team so that they can take my place” but you find that you are too busy to spend time with them in one on one career coaching?

I’ve been studying the subject of performance management for years. Over the past few years, there has been a push to eliminate the annual performance review and replace it with regularly scheduled coaching sessions so that employees know how they are doing on a more frequent basis. As the workforce changes, so do the supervisors and leaders. The challenge this puts on a leader is that if they are required to interact with their people more frequently, it might just expose what is truly on their heart. If a leader really only cares about his numbers, his department’s goals or his promotion, it will all be revealed in these regular interactions. So, if you genuinely want people to be successful, you must ensure that your words and actions match. It takes far more time to recruit, train and develop new employees than it does to coach them and help them be successful. In the end, these efforts will reflect positively on everyone.

“As water reflects our face, so a man’s heart reflects the man.” Proverbs 27:19

This verse is about our hearts as Christians. What is on your heart? Do you attend church weekly and sing the songs but go out on Monday and terrorize your workplace by showing no compassion for others or “steal time” by putting in less than a full day so that you can “get what is coming to you”? God knows what is in your heart! Putting God in His rightful place on your heart may take time and it won’t be easy, but God is understanding and has compassion as you work toward it.

For many of us, putting God first is a hard transition. As humans, we tend to be so self-centered or consumed by the needs of this world that we often consider God’s word as an afterthought. Perhaps it is one of those things that you’ll squeeze in if there is time. Try to introduce God into your decision-making at work or when you reflect on a decision that you made. It may feel uncomfortable at first but that will go away. Remember the love that God has shown us and be extra forgiving when someone really disappoints you. Daily devotional reading will help you understand the depth of God’s grace and love for you. As God fills your heart, that will be reflected outward in how you treat others. You’ll be more understanding, have compassion and show forgiveness. Think about what your reflection looks like today and ask, is this what I really want to show to others?